Today on Facebook I reposted some wisdom I saw being shared. However, the story was long and had some issues, so seeing my strong opinions on the subject, a friend suggested I make my own post about it. So here it is.
I have a sibling getting married this summer and two siblings in serious romantic relationships, so their readiness for marriage is on my mind a lot--way more than they realize. I love them dearly, so for their sake and the sake of any unmarried person hearing this, here's my advice.
People's ingrained behavior does not often or easily change when their situations change. Translation: Marriage is not a magic ritual that turns you into the kind of spouse you should be. You bring any issues you have into your marriage and then dump on all the normal marriage struggles. If you're a mess now, you'll be a wreck when you get married. By no means does this mean that your marriage won't work out. But would you rather struggle through your first several years of marriage to get where you should have been when you said "I do," or would you rather be as prepared as you can be so you can help your marriage to be as easy as it's possible for marriage to be (which is not very... just to let you know)? By the way, I've been married five years, and we've been cleaning up most of our mess within the past year. Trust me, I know these things as well as anyone.
Are you responsible and punctual? You can expect to be so when you're married. You might not be quite as good at it since you're having to acclimate to your new situation, but you'll probably do fairly well in that area. Are you good with your money? Make sure your future spouse is too, or he or she will influence you negatively--or worse, you'll put him or her on an "allowance" because you have to have control because your fiancé has no self-control in that area. Or how about this one: Do you treat your parents well? Do you ignore them most of the time, or do you actually treat them as though they're humans with feelings and genuine intelligence? Oh, that's different? Yes, for now it is because you don't live with your future spouse and he or she is so cute and loves you so much and blah-blah-blah whatever. Yeah, until you get married. Then you will treat that person how you treat your parents.
Do not think you are immune to this kind of behavior. You are human. This is how we function. By far the easiest way to overcome this sinful nature is to take care of your everyday problems before they become huge hindrances to your health, happiness, and growth in relationships. Your solution? Jesus. Get in church, read the Bible every day, talk regularly about these things with other Christians, and pray all the time. Jesus is the only one who can fix your problems. You just have to get to work with Him.
So get right before you get married. And if you're reading this and don't even know where to start, please get in touch with me. Like I said, I'm working on these things myself. I know a lot of the specifics.
In short, get this in your brain: Get your act together or eventually everything will fall apart!
